i'd hire me in a second. - 2003-12-04 2:38 p.m.

Jnet just sent me an email with a picture of a bumper sticker as an attachment, which reads "my other car is a vagina filled with centipedes"
fucking funny stuff, that.

OH!! i also applied to an online post looking for music journalists, completely circumventing the rules they set out, and probably making an ass of myself in the process. here's what i wrote.
_______________________

Dear _____y Mc_____salot,

You should hire me because if I wrote reviews for you, they would include descriptions like "a crack-addled monkey being sucked through a jet engine" WAY more than stuff like "seminal release" and "jagged pop hooks".

I have a gigantic brain packed with pop culture, and smolderingly raw sexual charisma. I also make great pot of coffee.

I'd write a 400-500 word bio/resume about myself, my musical interests and why I think I'd make a valuable contributor to _____, but I'm at work right now and they frown on that kind of thing.

Love,
Brendan
_______________________

SLICK!!!!!! i only wish i had gone with my original draft, but i took out the "hung like a fucking horse" line.
oh well, hindsight's 20/20!